The Struggle

To begin our blog, we felt that relaying our recent conversation would be fitting. In the following conversation we relate to each other and the struggle it is to be a human striving to live as a follower of Jesus and his teachings.

January 27
10:58 AM - Can I talk about something?

11:02 AM - Please, I feel like you haven't wanted to talk to me.

11:04 AM - Lately I've been tempted so badly to put down my cross and act worldly. To seek this world. The desires of anger, vanity, everything fleshly has risen inside of me and I couldn't even bring myself to pray. I kept wondering why. Why, why, why. Not only was I tempted but the devil has poked at me so much that he even sent people to help. I was blinded and caught off guard. I planned to trust myself instead of putting my trust in God the one true overcomer and today he spoke to me... I don't say that lightly.

11:10 AM - I've been down about my marriage. I feel drained being a mother. My friend and I were going to go out this weekend and boy has the devil feed on that. He's worked me to the point that I felt doing something stupid would help. Today I prayed..."God, why are you allowing me to feel this way? I love my husband. I love my marriage. Why do I feel like I need to escape?" Then I got my answer... The devil will always test me and pull at my hear strings. He knows my weakness. He knows what will get my attention and if I give him room to work in my life he will. He does not want me to serve the Lord. He wants to devour me. Start fighting. So I cried. I asked for forgiveness because I remembered the words of the truth. God's promise for the out of temptation. The promise that I am his and he is not finished with me yet. I stood up and I said, "I can't do this alone. I'm not strong enough, but with you God I am." The weight has been lifted. This is so hard. 

11:11 AM - It tricks you into believing you need more and now. I cancelled my plans for this weekend and decided the devil will be under my feet and he will not get my marriage or my kids. He will not be who I serve

11:20 AM - Oh girl... I know that struggle. I'm glad you want to tell me about it, the devil lives and flourishes in out silent secrets. I believe God has worked through that he gave Rivers ("Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers), then to you and then to me. I really needed to hear those words. Since Christmas I have been full of anxiety and worry about money and who I am. I took it out on my husband too many times. I've become to believe the voice that gives me insight to my thoughts is God correcting me (when previously I thought it was just me and my own understanding, but now I believe Rivers had helped me understand that that is God working through me because I've opened my heart to him.) I feel awakened thanks to you listening to God and embodying him best to your abilities. Please don't be so down that you won't let the Lord lift you up again. (I think you realized that danger and didn't allow it. I'm just pointing out for future punctuating). We are only human.

11:21 AM - The problem isn't my husband. The problem is me. My insecurities and forgetting my worth to God. I feel ugly, fat and my stomach grosses me out. But instead of running to God I dwelled in it and trusted my emotions

11:22 AM - You're so right. It's hard to not get anxious about things and not get anxious about things and not get overwhelmed. I'm so thankful for an understanding and comforting God.

11:23 AM - Amen... And no... It is not our husband's who are the problem... I've felt terrible and have acted on it, sounds you've done the same.

11:28 AM - Yup. It's strange sometimes I feel like you and I go through similar things at the same time hahaha just different circumstances.

11:33 AM - Ah to be human xD I don't think I tell you enough how thankful I am for you lol

11:33 AM - Well I'm thankful for you too!!

"14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." Romans 7

The Promise of the Holy Spirit

"1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, 2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. 3 He presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. 4 And while staying[a] with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, “you heard from me;5 for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with[b] the Holy Spirit not many days from now.”" Acts 1 

"29 But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. 30 The God of our fathersraised Jesus, whom you killed by hanging him on a tree. 31 God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior, to give repentance to Israel andforgiveness of sins. 32 And we are witnesses to these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.”" Acts 5

"12 Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. 15 As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”" Hebrews 3